Baby Talk: Why we're reconsidering using a surrogate

When I announced I didn't have to do chemo, I didn't announce that a couple of days later, a different doctor said I did need to.

In fact, it took four different doctors before we ultimately made the decision to decline treatment on the basis that it would have little impact on my cancer recurrence rate. At that point, we were two for two, but we made our decision based on facts.

We've been forced to make a lot of hard decisions in a short period of time and thankfully, deciding how we'll grow our family isn't exactly one of them.

My breast surgeon's opinion that I should use a surrogate led to our final decision to move in that direction. My OBYGN said there would probably always be some concern, but my medical oncologist said that concern was an old way of thinking. 

"I wouldn't say that you can't carry a baby," said my oncologist. "Doctors used to be concerned about the hormones during pregnancy, but that isn't the case anymore."

Her words fell on deaf ears.

It felt like the great chemo debacle all over again and it was two against one. So, we decided to stick to our plan of using a surrogate. That is until something happened a couple of weeks ago. 

I was laying in bed and suddenly I heard a voice say, "You can carry a baby. You can do this."

I didn't tell Souers I was having a change of heart. Instead, I gauged his openness to the idea. 

"You really don't think I should carry the baby," I asked. 

"Nope," he responded. "It's too much of a risk."

"I found another girl with a similar diagnosis and her doctors made her do hormone therapy for two years. Then, she carried her own baby," I mentioned a few days later.

"Nope," he responded, again. "It's too much of a risk."

Late one night, I decided to find a tie breaker.

I picked up my phone and googled "pregnancy and breast cancer recurrence." Lo and behold, I came across a new study released in June 2017 with a beautiful headline: "Pregnancy after breast cancer does not increase chance of recurrence."

My faith and the facts were aligned. That's three against two.  

I messaged Souers and I said, "Please read this study. If I don't have a recurrence within the next five years, I want to carry our baby."

It took a minute before I saw the three dots pop up on my iPhone, but soon he responded. 

"After reading the study, I'm cool with that," he said.

My heart smiled. 

I know some people won't agree with the decision, but the decision is ours. So, until God says otherwise, I'll be holding onto "Baby Souers due 2022."